understanding myself!

i love her but it seems that my love doesn't reach her. hay, i don't whats going on but one thing is just clear in my damn mind!!! i still love her deeply!!!... hay!! if i just know whats going on with me then i will have my own explanations in my mind and there will be a deep solution to my damn problem... i thought that i will not be affected by this trouble but then even though i try to keep my feelings bout this, still my emotions is still dominant than my personality... maybe this is the end!!! but i am not closing any doors.. maybe i need time to find myself again! im lost!! im lost!! and i dont know what to do!! only God knows how i feel right now!! only God knows how will i find solutions on my problem!! i dont want to trust liquor or beers but i think they will be my true friends despise of my many friends around me and keep on surrounding me..hay, i think i really need a great help from a great man!!! damn!! i dont want to live anymore!! i dont want to give a damn on my life!! if anyone out there that can help me maybe u are the answer to my problem and my sinking life..